I can hear it now, her voice like a soothing balm: Viola Davis' character in The Help reminding little Mae as she sends her out into the world: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

The beautiful baseline she set for that little girl - that no matter what comes your way, tuck these truths in your heart for always. I could cry right now.

We don't always get those reminders, though wouldn't that be a worthy exercise? For us to face one another, shoulders held squarely, exchanging affirmations of our tremendous worth and capacity.

Largely, looking for external reassurance has left me empty handed. Guided by what someone else imagines is best for us. Leaning into their opinion above all else. I know I'm in it when I start polling. Was that wrong of me to say? Do you think I'm making the right decision here? Feeling crushed by the critique, ruminating on harsh words from hurt people.

I've got to pull back to center and remember that their opinion isn't rooted in anything real: they don't know the full story, our true intention, the fears we've overcome to get there. They can't comprehend how deep we've dug or what wee hour we're still staring at the clock, thinking about the next right move. And they don't need to. They're not entitled or appointed to a position of judgement in our lives.

The validation you need – the only validation that matters – is your own. I can spot it now, and I trust it fully. It's the giddy feeling when something you had your hands on turns out better than you expected. Or the clear direction that rises to meet you. It's knowing deeply that you lived into your potential. Or that your intention is coming from a pure loving place. There's a sense of calm, clarity, completion.

It comes from a place of trusting yourself and your inner wisdom. You already know it’s good. Your spirit has said yes. Listen within, trust yourself and stand boldly in your power.

2 MIN READ

Jan, 2026

You Don't Need
Their Validation

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